This week I had the absolute pleasure to listen to Jesmyn Ward and Kiley Reid have a conversation about Jesmyn's newest book Let Us Descend. I had completely forgotten about the event because I wasn't supposed to be in town. I had accepted a speaking event on behalf of a nonprofit uplifting women and was supposed to be in our nation's capital. But a few days before I was supposed to start packing, I was overwhelmed by anxiety. You all may have noticed that things are a little contentious in the social media streets, but what concerned me is how our disagreements are spilling over into real life. The messages. The locations of events being changed. Outbursts of violence. Attacking one another verbally. Usually traveling for me is just part of the job. I have a whole system for keeping myself as safe as possible- it comes from traveling through America as a Black woman, you know. But what would I have to do to calm this level of anxiety- hire a babysitter, buy a last minute ticket for my husband and make sure he could travel with me? Find a friend in DC willing to pick me up, spend the day with me, attend the event and drop me back at my hotel? Could I retreat into myself, turn myself invisible and go virtually unnoticed as I walked through airports and city streets. The more I thought about strategies, the more tired and overwhelmed and anxious I felt. Once my husband confessed that he was nervous about it too I knew I couldn't manage both my anxieties and his too. I couldn’t call him and pretend to sound at peace.
Thank you for sharing so honestly, for taking care of yourself, and for the inspiration. It would require too much context to explain just how perfectly timed, affirming and heart resonating your message is at the exact moment I read it in my inbox, so please just know it was a gift to read it &, though I know was in NO way about me, it met a need. More than you could ever know. With all my heart, thank you.
What an act of courage. As someone who has often been afraid to be honest about my anxiety, I find this post very inspirational. Thank you for these words
I applaud you, appreciate you and admire you. By sharing your experience, we can all benefit from your honesty and vulnerability. Way to go, listening to your heart and soul. ❤️
Oh Austin! Thank you for sharing this with us. I'm so grateful and inspired to hear about your honesty, wise choices and the grace you were met with...may we all share such grace and honesty with each other. I'm struggling to give words to the peace I want for the world, this desire feels so raw and urgent and painful. A safe place to sleep. My wish for the world is everyone to have a safe place to sleep. For myself? Things are pretty awful at work right now so I'm wishing for the peace of respite...so I can get through the next few weeks without breaking.
I'm about a third of the way into Let Us Descend and what an extraordinary book! My words cant begin to so us justice. W
How wonderful to hear Jesmyn Ward speak about it. Can you tell us how she pronounces Annis and Arese?
I'm so happy that the organizers recognized and acknowledged your needs. I'm so sorry that you don't feel safe. The letter is so on point for me right now as I recently left a community I thought I wanted to be a part of. I recently moved back to British Columbia, Canada and fell right back into my previous relationships and communities and that has been great. I added another community and was working with them to build a co-housing community but after a few months and regularly wondering if I wanted to be a part of the community I decided to leave. I left mainly because working in that community was cutting into my emotional time and energy that I wanted to invest in the 'old' relationships. All these people were new to me and I'm going to keep a few of them but I'm letting go of the whole co-housing idea for now. It's great idea but getting to know a whole bunch of people and learn how to work with them is a huge financial, emotional and mental task. And letting go of that right now feels very good.
Thank you for sharing so honestly, for taking care of yourself, and for the inspiration. It would require too much context to explain just how perfectly timed, affirming and heart resonating your message is at the exact moment I read it in my inbox, so please just know it was a gift to read it &, though I know was in NO way about me, it met a need. More than you could ever know. With all my heart, thank you.
Dearest Austin,
What an act of courage. As someone who has often been afraid to be honest about my anxiety, I find this post very inspirational. Thank you for these words
I applaud you, appreciate you and admire you. By sharing your experience, we can all benefit from your honesty and vulnerability. Way to go, listening to your heart and soul. ❤️
What great courage, you listened to the right voices, I honor that. Bravo.
Love this for you, Austin. Thanks for sharing. Glad you found your warm and embracing space when needed.
Thank you for sharing your honesty.
I know I’ve been taught that there are acceptable reasons to say no and that it’s better to lie than to give a different reason.
I appreciate how more of the world is standing up and saying no, honesty is best.
We can make things work with honesty.
I’m glad you’re feeling some peace.
what place of peace? I return to my journey as Jonahs whale deep beneathe the waves above the depths
Oh Austin! Thank you for sharing this with us. I'm so grateful and inspired to hear about your honesty, wise choices and the grace you were met with...may we all share such grace and honesty with each other. I'm struggling to give words to the peace I want for the world, this desire feels so raw and urgent and painful. A safe place to sleep. My wish for the world is everyone to have a safe place to sleep. For myself? Things are pretty awful at work right now so I'm wishing for the peace of respite...so I can get through the next few weeks without breaking.
I'm about a third of the way into Let Us Descend and what an extraordinary book! My words cant begin to so us justice. W
How wonderful to hear Jesmyn Ward speak about it. Can you tell us how she pronounces Annis and Arese?
I'm so happy that the organizers recognized and acknowledged your needs. I'm so sorry that you don't feel safe. The letter is so on point for me right now as I recently left a community I thought I wanted to be a part of. I recently moved back to British Columbia, Canada and fell right back into my previous relationships and communities and that has been great. I added another community and was working with them to build a co-housing community but after a few months and regularly wondering if I wanted to be a part of the community I decided to leave. I left mainly because working in that community was cutting into my emotional time and energy that I wanted to invest in the 'old' relationships. All these people were new to me and I'm going to keep a few of them but I'm letting go of the whole co-housing idea for now. It's great idea but getting to know a whole bunch of people and learn how to work with them is a huge financial, emotional and mental task. And letting go of that right now feels very good.