Austin, where have you been all my life? You basically told my life story in I’m Still Here. Your words today have been a balm to my soul and I’m grateful for your vulnerability. It can be so painful walking through the world as an invisible person. I love the reminder to celebrate what is so good and powerful about being a black woman! Remembering and celebrating is vital to our survival.
The quote from bell hooks is perfect, Austin. She saw you!
That video of the two little girls haunted me last night. The invisibility of the black girl was heart-breaking. I also felt that the extreme visibility of the white girl was terrifying. I have a two-year-old granddaughter who is blonde and blue-eyed — unlike the rest of her family — and white strangers constantly come up to her and say things like, "You're so cute! I just want to eat you up!" or "You're beautiful! I just want to take you home!" All of this passes for "normal" in a white-dominated society but terrifies my granddaughter. She's a COVID baby who is just now getting used to being around people she doesn't know. She thinks these people mean exactly what they say — being cute and beautiful puts you at risk of being eaten or taken from your family.
Her experience, and the video of the two little girls, has helped me realize that there's at least two aspects of this (in)visibility problem. Black girls need to be seen, period. And White girls need to be — what? Unseen? Seen less? Seen in ways that don't glorify their appearances? Seen in ways that don't commodify their bodies? Seen in ways that don't reinforce a perception of vulnerability? (I'm still thinking this aspect through …)
I guess I hope that all girls can be seen in ways that affirm who they really are and that make them feel confident, safe, and loved. Thanks for shining a light on this issue, Austin. It's giving me a lot to think about. (You're so good at that!)
I love this reflection. I don’t have any clear answers either but I think what you’re wrestling with is layered… layer 1 is how is white supremacy also harming the white girl (that her skin/beauty is all that’s seen)? And layer 2 is that being a girl is hard. And in this case, do people feel a sense of ownership of her (your granddaughters) body because she’s a girl? Is the attention she’s receiving healthy? All really good questions.
Thanks for helping me think this through, Austin. You're right about there being multiple layers of issues surrounding girls' visibility. It seems like White supremacy is poisonous to white girls in our society — while being poisonous and often deadly for black girls. The harm it does to black girls is obvious. The harm it does to white girls is cloaked in obsessive concern for appearances, or personal safety, which feels like a cover-up for domination and control.
Which brings us to the second layer you mentioned. Is being visible to the White Gaze even healthy — for anybody? If the black girl was as visible to the mainstream society as the white girl, that might not actually be a good thing because I don't think they would "see" her the way bell hooks sees her. It feels like we collectively need a new way of seeing all the girls in our society and that healthier vision is coming out of the Black and Indigenous communities because — as usual — those communities are more aware of the systemic problems.
Wouldn't it be refreshing if strangers came up to our kids and said something like, "I noticed how you like to watch things. What have you been seeing?"
I love your work, and I very much want to be part of the solution. As a privileged white woman, I feel I have been part of the problem for far too long. A brush with insanity (misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder in 2020) has opened my eyes to the reality of the corruption and oppression in society in general and in our mental healthcare system in particular. As a psychiatric RN (out of work due to standing up for what's right), I am in a unique position to expose the hidden abuses in the system. I'd love to connect to find out what more I can do to give voice to the voiceless. I want to support safe people and safe spaces. This is my attempt to educate... https://medium.com/@tarasierralee_57910/creating-safe-spaces-a-guide-for-human-beings-especially-self-identified-empaths-or-philosophers-5acea82cfa
You wouldn’t have ADHD would you? That’s usually what happens to ADHDers. I was only diagnosed three years ago so I’m on the same road as you. I’m not having ANYONE go through what I have. Especially not vulnerable people with less privilege than me.
Not ADHD. I was (mis) diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 2020. I hope what I'm about to say won't upset you. Maybe it will lead to some healing... but I don't believe that ADHD is a real diagnosis. It's not MY idea, it's something I've been researching for a while. Here's my take on the subject. Please read it with an open mind. We are ALL victims of our very broken psychiatric system (I'm a psychiatric nurse and know the system from both sides). https://medium.com/@tarasierralee_57910/trevor-noah-and-the-privilege-of-adhd-ac3a2dd9b7e1
I understand what you’re saying but I don’t agree. I wasn’t diagnosed until 51. Years of not understanding what was different about me and why I couldn’t be what others wanted me to be mean the ‘label’ gives me a name for the difference. However, I want you to be the best you there is so I don’t take any thing away from you. Take care of yourself ❤️
My home was filled with love and acceptance which I can’t say was what school was. What we lacked we made up for (and having a horse stud meant we got baby horses in spring!). Who else had none brothers and sisters and traveled in one car before seatbelts were enforced 🤩
Love the bell hooks quote. Great inspiration for antiracism work.
Austin, where have you been all my life? You basically told my life story in I’m Still Here. Your words today have been a balm to my soul and I’m grateful for your vulnerability. It can be so painful walking through the world as an invisible person. I love the reminder to celebrate what is so good and powerful about being a black woman! Remembering and celebrating is vital to our survival.
This means so much to me 💜💜💜 I hope you always feel seen here.
The quote from bell hooks is perfect, Austin. She saw you!
That video of the two little girls haunted me last night. The invisibility of the black girl was heart-breaking. I also felt that the extreme visibility of the white girl was terrifying. I have a two-year-old granddaughter who is blonde and blue-eyed — unlike the rest of her family — and white strangers constantly come up to her and say things like, "You're so cute! I just want to eat you up!" or "You're beautiful! I just want to take you home!" All of this passes for "normal" in a white-dominated society but terrifies my granddaughter. She's a COVID baby who is just now getting used to being around people she doesn't know. She thinks these people mean exactly what they say — being cute and beautiful puts you at risk of being eaten or taken from your family.
Her experience, and the video of the two little girls, has helped me realize that there's at least two aspects of this (in)visibility problem. Black girls need to be seen, period. And White girls need to be — what? Unseen? Seen less? Seen in ways that don't glorify their appearances? Seen in ways that don't commodify their bodies? Seen in ways that don't reinforce a perception of vulnerability? (I'm still thinking this aspect through …)
I guess I hope that all girls can be seen in ways that affirm who they really are and that make them feel confident, safe, and loved. Thanks for shining a light on this issue, Austin. It's giving me a lot to think about. (You're so good at that!)
I love this reflection. I don’t have any clear answers either but I think what you’re wrestling with is layered… layer 1 is how is white supremacy also harming the white girl (that her skin/beauty is all that’s seen)? And layer 2 is that being a girl is hard. And in this case, do people feel a sense of ownership of her (your granddaughters) body because she’s a girl? Is the attention she’s receiving healthy? All really good questions.
Thanks for helping me think this through, Austin. You're right about there being multiple layers of issues surrounding girls' visibility. It seems like White supremacy is poisonous to white girls in our society — while being poisonous and often deadly for black girls. The harm it does to black girls is obvious. The harm it does to white girls is cloaked in obsessive concern for appearances, or personal safety, which feels like a cover-up for domination and control.
Which brings us to the second layer you mentioned. Is being visible to the White Gaze even healthy — for anybody? If the black girl was as visible to the mainstream society as the white girl, that might not actually be a good thing because I don't think they would "see" her the way bell hooks sees her. It feels like we collectively need a new way of seeing all the girls in our society and that healthier vision is coming out of the Black and Indigenous communities because — as usual — those communities are more aware of the systemic problems.
Wouldn't it be refreshing if strangers came up to our kids and said something like, "I noticed how you like to watch things. What have you been seeing?"
I love your work, and I very much want to be part of the solution. As a privileged white woman, I feel I have been part of the problem for far too long. A brush with insanity (misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder in 2020) has opened my eyes to the reality of the corruption and oppression in society in general and in our mental healthcare system in particular. As a psychiatric RN (out of work due to standing up for what's right), I am in a unique position to expose the hidden abuses in the system. I'd love to connect to find out what more I can do to give voice to the voiceless. I want to support safe people and safe spaces. This is my attempt to educate... https://medium.com/@tarasierralee_57910/creating-safe-spaces-a-guide-for-human-beings-especially-self-identified-empaths-or-philosophers-5acea82cfa
You wouldn’t have ADHD would you? That’s usually what happens to ADHDers. I was only diagnosed three years ago so I’m on the same road as you. I’m not having ANYONE go through what I have. Especially not vulnerable people with less privilege than me.
Not ADHD. I was (mis) diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 2020. I hope what I'm about to say won't upset you. Maybe it will lead to some healing... but I don't believe that ADHD is a real diagnosis. It's not MY idea, it's something I've been researching for a while. Here's my take on the subject. Please read it with an open mind. We are ALL victims of our very broken psychiatric system (I'm a psychiatric nurse and know the system from both sides). https://medium.com/@tarasierralee_57910/trevor-noah-and-the-privilege-of-adhd-ac3a2dd9b7e1
I understand what you’re saying but I don’t agree. I wasn’t diagnosed until 51. Years of not understanding what was different about me and why I couldn’t be what others wanted me to be mean the ‘label’ gives me a name for the difference. However, I want you to be the best you there is so I don’t take any thing away from you. Take care of yourself ❤️
That video was heart-wrenching, I hope it goes viral as proof of what people constantly deny.
My home was filled with love and acceptance which I can’t say was what school was. What we lacked we made up for (and having a horse stud meant we got baby horses in spring!). Who else had none brothers and sisters and traveled in one car before seatbelts were enforced 🤩