The Vote

and honoring Black women

This week I am supposed to be sending you part two of "Honoring Black Women" a continuation of my last post. But I am interrupting that potential series with the hopes that you can honor me, a Black woman. Now the truth is, I dont have a lot of hope that it's possible as many of you may disagree with me. And I want you to know that your disagreement is okay. Its normal. Its natural. Its fine. But often a disagreement can quickly devolve to what Im going to call "Blacklash"- it isnt just backlash. There is a particular lashing out that happens against Black women who have a different opinion, especially when you have decided they've personally disappointed you, whether we are in relationship or not.

In my upcoming book I write about leaving my first real job. I gave two weeks notice, after I lined up something else. And when I turned in my notice, one of my two supervisors wanted to meet with me. At first she started crying that I had chosen to leave, and when I told her I already had something else lined up (that this wasnt me just trying to get her attention) she lashed out at me. Apparently she had an internal list of everything I had done wrong while on the job and she lobbed them at me as "warnings" not to repeat in my new job. I feel absolutely certain that no one else who gave her their notice were met with anything other than questions about their new position, perhaps a congratulations, maybe even support or an "I wish you weren't leaving". It was my first lesson in white women's tears and the viciousness that lay behind them. But I tell you this story because I need you to know that I am preparing for that reaction, that blacklash, even as I hope that if you disagree, we can still honor one another's humanity.

There are some personal, character assessments happening right now about The Vote. And I get it. The stakes are high. And once again we have landed ourselves in the world of unprecedented. For a long time mainstream America thought only of the political right as having convictions. That characterization that the left was without them, was of course never true. But my goodness, we are certainly proving it's a lie this round. We dems, progressives, the left are deeply ethical, deeply moral, and deeply holding as true as we can to our convictions. But we are also tearing apart folks whose same conviction has led to a different decision.

Again, I say there will be many people who disagree with me, but Im going to go out on a limb and suggest that it is possible, no matter how you use your vote, that your action is important. (Now I am of course making the assumption that you are left and that you will not be voting for DT, so Im leaving that possibility out of this discussion. I do believe that is a detrimental choice, but Im sure you know that). This time around, we arent actually attacking the right as much as each other. I think there is more attacking happening between those who remain uncommitted, those who have chosen not to vote, those who are voting third party, and those who are voting for Harris/Walz. The assumptions we are making of one another are rather vicious. We are questioning everyone's commitment to their convictions; we are deciding who is serious about those convictions. We are shouting at each other all over social media. We are absolutely convinced that each of us hold the moral high ground. We are calling one another stupid and ripping each other a new one. We are absolutely incredulous by other choices and allow no room for someone else to be making an ethical decision.

And it's exhausting. But it's also a little painful. Its a little painful to watch this group that has spent so much time being the misfit, the outcast, the troublemakers, the courageous, the one's willing to speak out, now turn on one another.

And so Id like to offer a possible idea. What if how each of us responds is actually important? What if it's important that some people determine to withhold their vote in resistance to the ongoing atrocities in Gaza? Because I believe it is. I believe it has absolutely had an impact on the conversation, on the candidates, on the media, etc that so many people who otherwise would vote, and have voted in the past, are standing their moral ground and saying- not this time. I think that push, that protest- especially from Black people who know that we cannot take our vote for granted, are willing to withhold it... There is a beauty there, that must be honored. Keeping Gaza at the forefront is good work, and it is costly for those who want to vote but cant.

I also believe it is important for those voting third party. While I do not share the hope that a third party candidate can win just yet, it is important that we keep the possibility alive as we work to get to that point. I am very into the Working Families Party (I am not a member yet, but I am strongly considering what it might look like to start volunteering with them). But my point here is that, even though it "takes away votes" that would perhaps otherwise go to the dems, it nonetheless feels important that folks remember the two parties are not all there is... that we could make another choice. I dont think we are there yet. I think the third parties have a lot of building to do further down the ticket before we get to a Presidency... but that doesnt make the desire for a third party that more aligns with our convictions any less important.

I know a lot of people are scared that those who arent voting and those who vote third party will split our numbers and could give rise to a candidate that hates us all. That is a fear I understand. But it is not a fear that makes me want to lash out at the people trying to stand in their convictions. I want to remain in conversation. I want to hear about these deeply ethical decisions.

I dont want to be told that I dont care because Im making different decision.

I am not a political strategist. I am not a historian. I am not a sociologist. Sometimes I wish I was all those things so I could stretch out in my intellectualism and wow all of you. What I am is a Black girl from the midwest, the flyover states. I am from a place people have "kind of heard of" but only in relation to the nearest big city. I am a daughter of the Midwest and a granddaughter of the south. I grew up in a small city with very little to do... and so what we did was have sleepovers and go to the one roller skating rink and walk the mall even though we didnt have the money to actually buy anything. All of our dreams felt bigger than the place we were- no major sports team, no broadway shows or big name concerts, and all our field trips were to the same places over and over again from elementary school through high school- we had to repeat locations. The biggest thing I remember happening in my hometown was the building of a big movie theater. Because one thing folks in the midwest are gonna do is watch movies.

My point is that I am just a Black girl, raised by a family of folks who were trying to carve out a better life in the Midwest in order to serve those who stayed in the South- to send them money or at the very least make them proud- not with fancy titles or wealth but with stability. Where I am from stability is gold... and is too often still elusive. My parents were insurance agents. Sometimes money was okay, and sometimes it wasnt. My father-in-law works at the car factories and my mother-in-law was a housekeeper at the local hotels. My grandmother was a teacher. My grandfather held approximately 23 jobs in his adulthood because he was a Black man in the 50s/60s, more brilliant than any white man he had ever met but given only a quarter of the opportunities. And my vote for Harris is also ethical. I will readily agree that it might not be the most moral decision. Perhaps it is not, as someone who cares deeply about what is happening in Gaza. I cede the moral high ground. But my choice is still grounded in great consideration.

Because my current reality is such that I will survive a DT  presidency. I work for myself. I work at home. I have a savings account. I even have the beginnings of investment accounts. I own my home. I won't be stopped from voting at my local center. I am a daughter of the midwest and a grand daughter of the South, and I have reached that thing called stability. But at the center of my work, my life remains my grandmother, and my aunties, and my cousins, and the bus drivers, and salon owners, and housekeepers, and factory workers. At the heart of my work and my life are the people who may not survive another DT Presidency, who may not survive Project 2025, whose lives are sometimes stable and sometimes not, people who already do not plan to ever retire- who will work until they absolutely cannot because there is no other choice. At the heart of my work and my life are those who must vote for the sake of their own survival. And when I say "listen to Black women" I mean it for myself too. And the Black women in my life who are scared, whose money is funny, who cannot work remotely, who are in jobs of manual labor- they are voting for Kamala and they are doing so with joy.

They do not believe that she is their personal superhero come to save them from America. They know America too well for that. But they believe in the possibility of better. They believe in the possibility of being heard. They believe in the possibility that if Kamala is chosen this time, that someone who is more left-leaning, more radical, more progressive could be chosen next time. They believe that Kamala is not out to get them and for generations that is really all we have asked for- is simply to have folks in power not be out to get us. They believe that under Kamala, that if she is not out to get them, they can keep working for Black people at home and Black people abroad. (please note I use her first name here because that is how the Black women in my life think of her)

And so my vote is with them. I am choosing the conditions under which I want to continue fighting for Black lives and the lives of marginalized people- in Gaza, in Congo, at the Mexico border, and more.

One thing I find myself writing over and over again is that Black women are well-reasoned. We are not always right (I sure didnt think the Dems would line up behind Harris! And I didnt think she'd generate nearly the amount of excitement that she has). We are not always right. But we are reasonable. Our fears, our concerns, our outlook, our experience, our intellect, and yes our moral compass... is all being taken into account with our precious vote. You can disagree with the decision. But I ask that you pause before you lobby your "blacklash" at the same Black women who have fought, have protested, have sacrificed, have spoken up, have lost their jobs, have lost their seats, have sacrificed their health, have started movements, have been here long before antiracism was a catch phrase. You dont have to agree, but I hope you will honor them as people making the best decisions they see for continuing the work.

*** I dont have it in me to edit this. So thank you in advance for offering grace to my humanity).