I didn't tell you everything...

Okay, so last week I told you all about my time at Alt Summit. I told about feeling full of purpose and finding more of myself on stage and feeling like ME. But I didn’t tell you everything. 

You see, being on stage is my safe place. I know it’s completely backwards compared to a lot of other people. I feel so self conscious and awkward and quirky when I’m just 1:1 with a stranger. Put me on a stage and suddenly I am at peace. 

So it feels important to share about what happened behind the scenes of Alt Summit.

First, can we talk about my commitment to not shaving? I really wish I could tell y’all that this commitment is born of a deeply feminist response to the patriarchy but the truth is I am lazy. And I live in the Midwest- which means I can only show off my legs without being freezing cold for about an hour every year. lol. Shaving is just so much work! So I avoid it as much as possible. 

Enter this stunning skirt I want to wear. You saw it. Its layers of tulle which is kinda see through and kinda not. The night before I had to speak I made my travel buddy, Jenny, come to my room. I turned on every light in my hotel room, climbed on a chair so my legs would be at her eye level, and swished my tulle skirt around to get her opinion. I’m so glad I didn’t fall off that chair because that is something that would absolutely happen to me. 

She gives the skirt a thumbs up. We decide that if anyone can see my leg hair and decides to call me out, that I will still have no regrets- so why not go for it?!? 

The next problem comes the morning I have to speak. I have been trying to put on my own false lashes for years. And I never ever ever have gotten them to stick. This time I watched several YouTube videos. And then I gave myself an extra 30min to get this right. And I did it!!!!!! I walked out of my hotel room with gorgeous long lashes. Until, 5 minutes before I’m set to get on stage and one of them started popping off

I was taking pictures when the photographer pointed at Jenny and said, “can you just help with this here?” I thought he was talking about my hair (because we do not touch black womens hair!!). But no. She came closer and immediately was like “oh dear”. One of my lashes was slowly peeling off. She managed to get that sucker to stick in place long enough to finish the shoot. 

Then we had to reassess. Take them on stage and hope they stay? Take them off now? To be or not to be? While I don’t enjoy being awkward, I can handle it on stage better than anywhere else. Nonetheless, that felt like tempting fate a little too much. I was already taking chances with my leg hair… We decide to take them off. 

That’s when a delightful illustrator sees us and asks for a photo. “Of course!” I say, “just give me one second to pull off my eye lashes first!” Which I then stuff in purse, right next to my phone. 

Add my suitcase not fitting in the overhead, racing between connecting flights, my endlessly awkward interactions with Lyft drivers, getting stuck in the rain, and following Jenny around like a duckling because I was endlessly lost in the hotel… and just know that off stage I am a bit of a mess! 

I’m so grateful that I get to have these moments in life where I feel like superwoman because everything has fallen into place for this one beautiful moment of connection. But know that most of my moments are awkward and quirky and entirely human.

Spill it - what makes you feel like a superstar and what brings you back to reality? Know that both are wonderful.

Full of mess + moxie,

Austin